WISDOM OF MARK TWAIN - Part 5

TWAIN, MARK

(Samuel Langhorne Clemens)

American author,

journalist, humorist

(1835-1910)

Many quotations have been attributed to Twain that came from other sources. If you find I have wrongly attributed a quotation to Twain, please leave a comment or email me at mythoughtsarefree@gmail.com. Thank you.

• “The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.” (Christian Science)

• “When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am sure hell won’t be so bad at all.” (Jon Winokur, The Portable Curmudgeon)

• “When in doubt, tell the truth.” (Following the Equator, 1897)

• “When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” (Mark Twain’s Notebook)

• “You can’t pray a lie.” (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, 1885)

• “You want me to believe it is a judicious, a charitable God that runs this world. Why I could run it better myself.” (Clara Clemens, My Father Mark Twain)

• “Zeal and sincerity can carry a new religion further than any other missionary except fire and sword.” (Christian Science)

• "India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire." (Following the Equator)

• “Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.”  (The Innocents Abroad)

• “A religion that comes of thought, and study, and deliberate conviction, sticks best. The revivalized convert who is scared in the direction of heaven because he sees hell yawn suddenly behind him, not only regains confidence when his scare is over, but is ashamed of himself for being scared, and often becomes more hopelessly and malignantly wicked than he was before.” (Letter San Francisco Alta California, November 15, 1868) 

• “The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it...”  (Mark Twain's Notebook)

Read more about Mark Twain & his religious skepticism at the end of:

WISDOM OF MARK TWAIN - Part 1

Find more quotations at the above post and these:

WISDOM OF MARK TWAIN - Part 2

WISDOM OF MARK TWAIN - Part 3

WISDOM OF MARK TWAIN - Part 4

I DON'T BELIEVE IN PRAYER BECAUSE.....

        Diane, at Diane's Addled Rambling blog, posted a wonderful heartfelt post about why she doesn't believe in prayer. I had been thinking of writing on this topic myself, but Diane said it all on her post of March 23, 2009.

        She said: "I often say I believe in tolerance over faith because in the end, not a one of us knows for sure."

        So click on the link to her post to read what else Diane had to say about prayer, religion, faith, and tolerance. And enjoy what some others have said about prayer below:

• "Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy."  --- Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary, 1911)

• “Hands that help are nobler than lips that pray.” ---Robert G. Ingersoll

• "Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer." ---Author Unknown

• "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." ---Mark Twain

• “It is safe to say that almost every person living in New Orleans at the moment Hurricane Katrina struck shared...belief in an omnipotent, omniscient, and compassionate God. But what was God doing while Katrina laid waste to their city? Surely He heard the prayers of those elderly men and women who fled the rising waters for the safety of their attics, only to be slowly drowned there. These were people of faith. These were good men and women who had prayed throughout their lives. Do you have the courage to admit the obvious? These people died talking to an imaginary friend.” ---Sam Harris, (Letter to a Christian Nation)

• "It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good, and it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring." ---Robert G. Ingersoll (Which Way? 1884)

• “Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.”  ---Author Unknown

• "Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy." — George Carlin

• "When we talk to God, we're praying.  When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic." — Lily Tomlin

• “This doctrine of the material efficacy of prayer reduces the Creator to a cosmic bellhop of a not very bright or reliable kind.”  ---Herbert J. Muller

• "Man is a marvelous curiosity... he thinks he is the Creator's pet... he even believes the Creator loves him; has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watches over him and keeps him out of trouble.  He prays to Him and thinks He listens.  Isn't it a quaint idea?" -—Mark Twain

• "When did I realize I was God?  Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself." —- Peter O’Toole

• “The creator who could put a cancer in a believer's stomach is above being interfered with by prayers.” --- Bret Harte (as quoted by James A Haught, editor, 2000 Years of Disbelief)

• “Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.”  ---Fred Allen