15 July 2009


(Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
American author,
journalist, humorist

Many quotations have been attributed to Twain that came from other sources. If you find I have wrongly attributed a quotation to Twain, please leave a comment or email me at mythoughtsarefree@gmail.com. Thank you.

• “Such is the human race. Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.” (Christian Science)

• “Temperate temperance is best. Intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance, while temperate temperance helps it in its fight against intemperate intemperance. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky.” (Mark Twain’s Notebook)

• “To eat is human, to digest divine.”

• “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.~ (Innocents Abroad)

• “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” (Mark Twain, a Biography)

• “Virtue has never been as respectable as money.” (Innocents Abroad)

• “Water taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.”

• “We get our morals from books. I didn’t get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books ---theoretically at least.” (Remarks at the Opening of the Mark Twain Library)

• “Whatever the Church damns is saved; whatever it opposes prospers ---like anti-slavery and evolution.” (Mark Twain’s Notebook)

• “What’s the use you learning to do right, when it’s troublesome to do right and ain’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?” (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, 1885)

• “When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.” (Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894)

• “Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.” (Mark Twain’s Notebook)

Read more about Mark Twain & his religious skepticism at the end of:

Find more quotations at the above post and these:

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